The Taste of Time Lord
by Naomitrekkie
Summary: While out hunting, the Cullens encounter a strange man and discover Time Lord blood bites back.
1. Chapter 1: The Box

**The Taste of Time Lord**

**Author: Naomitrekkie**

**Series: Doctor Who and Twilight**

**Rating: T**

**Synopsis: While out hunting, the Cullens encounter a strange man and discover Time Lord blood bites back.**

**Timeline: Seven years after _Breaking Dawn_; towards the beginning of the second season of New Who.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Twilight Saga, Doctor Who, or any of their characters.**

**A/N: This is a personal favorite of mine, but I should note that there will be main character (Twilight) whup in this fic. You've been warned.**

**Enjoy!**

**Chapter One: The Box**

They were hunting, just the two of them. It had been her mother's idea, as a way to "make peace" with the upcoming festivities. Not that there was a reason to. They'd made peace a while ago.

The wind changed direction, carrying the scent of moose along with it, bringing Renesmee's focus back on the hunt. In an instant she was on the trail of a small herd of moose, mere milliseconds behind her father.

The moose never saw them coming. It wasn't until the first two were on the ground, the blood draining from the dying beasts that the others noticed anything out of the ordinary. By the time they had enough sense to run, it was too late for all but the fifth one. The third and fourth soon found themselves alongside their brethren in death.

Rising from her kill, she licked the excess blood from around her lips. Looking up, she found her father doing the same. _Maybe Mother'd been right, maybe I do need this time with Father._

"It is nice, getting to spend time with you before you marry that dog."

Had it been anyone else, she would have been concerned, but she knew her father. He liked to call her Jacob names, but he didn't mean it, not anymore.

"Are you sure about that?"

She shook her head and smiled. This was how their conversations went. She'd think something and he'd speak a response. With anyone else, she'd have to be in physical contact, but her father's gift gave him an advantage.

"I wouldn't call it an advantage. It's more of a . . . convenience."

"Yeah, but only with me," she spoke. That alone was rare enough when only in the presence of her family or Jacob—her method was simply more convenient—but her words rang true. Her constant telepathic sharing of her thoughts made her used to others knowing her mind. Her father's ability made it all the more convenient—for her. With him, she could be across the Alaskan tundra and still be able to communicate. Others got used to her father's constant reading their thoughts, but only she found it as natural as breathing.

"You're the only one who has to breathe," he reminded her.

_I know but that doesn't make it less true._

Receiving no response, she decided to take a look at her surroundings. The icy tundra spread out for miles, the ice—and their skin—glistening in the sunlight. The only being she spotted was the remaining moose in the distance. It wouldn't be difficult to catch up with the creature, but she was feeling generous and her thirst had been sated, so she let it live.

She didn't have long to ponder the creature before two things happened simultaneously.

A blue box with the words "Police Public Call Box" appeared only yards in front of her and—

—her father started screaming out in pain.

**To Be Continued . . .**


	2. Chapter 2: The Man in the Box

**The Taste of Time Lord**

**Author: Naomitrekkie**

**Series: Doctor Who and Twilight**

**Rating: T**

**Synopsis: While out hunting, the Cullens encounter a strange man and discover Time Lord blood bites back.**

**Timeline: Seven years after **_**Breaking Dawn**_**; towards the beginning of the second season of New Who.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Twilight Saga, Doctor Who, or any of their characters.**

**Chapter Two: The Man in the Box**

Rushing to her father, she attempted to find the source of his pain. Her father's screams, however, were not conducive to concentration. Attempting to communicate provided useless too—either he couldn't hear her or couldn't answer, but that still left her clueless.

"What seems to be the problem?"

So focused on her father, Renesmee had not noticed the arrival of a strange man with wild brown hair—from what she could only assume came from the mysterious blue box—until he was already on top of her, poised to help her father.

"He just started screaming. I-I don't know why. It happened at the same time that box showed up."

The man looked between Renesmee, Edward, and his box, then shot up with enthusiasm.

"Oh, I think I know what's caused it. Oh yes, this is bad, bad, bad."

"Can you help him?"

The man looked down at Renesmee, all enthusiasm lost. He said nothing, but he didn't have to. She could read it on his face. The sorrow leaped from his expression so clearly, it was as if she possessed her Uncle Jasper's powers.

"But surely, you can do something? He can't die! He can't!"

The man said nothing and Renesmee began to cry—one of the many advantages of being half human. _This wasn't how today was supposta go. I'm supposta get married and live happily ever after forever. Not this!_

An especially loud sob escaped and when she went to wipe away the tears, she heard it. The most terrible, horrible thing she could ever imagine and hearing it shattered her heart into shards.

It was silence.

**To Be Continued . . .**


	3. Chapter 3: Rage

**The Taste of Time Lord**

**Author: Naomitrekkie**

**Series: Doctor Who and Twilight**

**Rating: T**

**Synopsis: While out hunting, the Cullens encounter a strange man and discover Time Lord blood bites back.**

**Timeline: Seven years after **_**Breaking Dawn**_**; towards the beginning of the second season of New Who.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Twilight Saga, Doctor Who, or any of their characters.**

**A/N: Happy 2011! As a present, enjoy the rest of this fic!**

**Chapter Three: Rage**

She knew it was over when she registered the silence. There was not a sound to be heard—quite a contrast to her father's deafening screams. There was no mistaking it—he was gone.

"How-how is this possible?" _He's a vampire. He can't die!_

"I believe it's my fault."

Renesmee snapped her head up and was on her feet before the man could even blink.

"What do you mean, this is your fault?"

"I've just been talking with my ship and she told me some rather . . . interesting details about your father's telepathic abilities. It seems his contact with her mind was too much for him and his brain exploded."

Renesmee was so shocked, she didn't realize to wonder how he knew Edward had been her father, or about his abilities. Even her thoughts could not form any semblance of coherent ideas.

The man watched her cautiously, worrying about her reaction. Going so still was never a good sign, and particularly not when connected to instances of death. No, this was not a good sign, and he knew it. _Now, what can I do to help her . . . _

Renesmee was lost in her own world. Nothing from the outside registered, so she didn't notice the man's cautious steps towards her nor his attempt to take her hand to comfort her.

"Ouch."

That woke Renesmee from her lala land, just in time to see the man jump back, shaking his hand.

"Quite some thoughts you have there." He added a nervous chuckle at the end, but it only added to the tension.

The man's brown eyes caught Renesmee's and something inside her snapped. In that moment, she managed her first coherent thought.

_He's the reason Father's dead._

That was enough to set her off. The man stood no chance. In the blink of an eye, she was on him, attacking.

In her enraged state, Renesmee was far from her best. The man used this to his advantage when dodging her blows. His own agility and speed proved advantageous as well, but, mortal as he was, he eventually grew tired.

It was downhill from there.

First, it was some scratches. Then broken bones. Finally, it came down to his neck. Renesmee bit, draining the man's blood and injecting every ounce of rage telepathically, never noticing the funky taste of his blood or the irregular beat of what could only be two hearts.

The man screamed, his blood on fire, but not from the venom—seeing as Renesmee was venom-less and all—but the rage. The never ending rage poured into the Doctor until the whole world turned black.

**To Be Continued . . .**


	4. Chapter 4: Discovery

**The Taste of Time Lord**

**Author: Naomitrekkie**

**Series: Doctor Who and Twilight**

**Rating: T**

**Synopsis: While out hunting, the Cullens encounter a strange man and discover Time Lord blood bites back.**

**Timeline: Seven years after **_**Breaking Dawn**_**; towards the beginning of the second season of New Who.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Twilight Saga, Doctor Who, or any of their characters.**

**A/N: Happy 2011! As a present, enjoy the rest of this fic!**

**Chapter Four: Discovery**

Renesmee did not move. She couldn't, not even to breathe. She couldn't remember what had happened. She had no idea why her father laid so still or a strange man laid breathing or even why she felt so ill. No, nothing made sense. Her only thoughts were those of silence—never ending silence so terrifyingly complete she couldn't close her eyes for fear of becoming lost in the nothingness.

A few hours overdue, the Cullens and Jacob's pack went on the hunt. Not for blood, but for Renesmee and Edward. Alice couldn't see them—even before the wolves decided to get involved—and that worried her to no end. Why couldn't she? Where were they? Were they alright?

No answers revealed themselves, so that left only a search party. Each quickly latched onto a trail and let their nose be their guide.

Jacob got there first and the shear amount of blood was overwhelming. Blood covered everything—the ice, Edward, Renesmee, the moose carcasses, and even the strange blue box which stood their for no reason—but Renesmee soon stole his attention. Her skin was pale—so pale, in fact, an albino would look tanned in comparison. He ran to her side but her skin was so cold to the touch it burned. Even the Alaskan tundra felt like an oven compared to Renesmee.

That's when he noticed the wretched oder of vomit and blood. The stench grew so foul, Jacob had to phase to reduce it potency—after ensuring help was on the way.

Jacob had never been more terrified in his life. Renesmee wasn't responding to anything Jacob did. Only the shallowest of breaths gave him any sign she was alive.

"Nessie, oh Nessie, Nessie, Nessie, my Nessie, please, oh please, oh please," he begged, "please show some sign you're alive, oh please."

Jacob learned to be more careful for what he wished for as at that moment, two things happened.

The blood soaked stranger awoke and—

—Renesmee vomited all over Jacob.

"Seems someone's having an off day."

Jacob looked up at the man in disbelief. His suit was tattered, soaked in dry blood, yet his face remained markless. Not a scar or a cut or a sore to explain the blood, but that was far from the man's strangest quality.

"Yeah, I probably should have warned her that my blood wouldn't agree with her, but what could I do? Too focused to have noticed, no way to stop her. At least she's not venomous. How would I explain it to Rose? Accidentally leave her on Pluto and come back a vampire Time Lord? And that's only the best case scenario! Most likely I'd have regenerated and Rose would have a fit! I've changed enough, she'd tell me, and I'd agree. I like this face just as it is. Besides, I feel brilliant! Nothing like cellular rejuvenation to keep you feeling strong. I could probably jump from a space ship and land on concrete and still feel just as brilliant. What a silly notion. Why would I ever do that? Now, locking the TARDIS like a car, that would be something. Maybe—"

"Who are you?"

The Doctor stopped and assessed his surroundings. In front of him: dead vampire, comatose vampire/human hybrid, angry shape-shifter, and he could more vampires coming in the distance. _Seems I've been caught. Best talk._

"I'm the Doctor."

"Doctor? Doctor who?"

"Just 'the Doctor.'"

"Well, if you're a doctor, can you help her?"

The Doctor got out his sonic screwdriver, and scanned it across Renesmee. The results were not looking good and with a coven of approaching vampires, it did not bode well for him. Particularly with no where to run.

Taking everything in, the Doctor knew he needed to decide on a plan of action. Looking down at Renesmee, he could only say:

"I'm so sorry."

**To Be Continued . . .**


	5. Chapter 5: Aftermath

**The Taste of Time Lord**

**Author: Naomitrekkie**

**Series: Doctor Who and Twilight**

**Rating: T**

**Synopsis: While out hunting, the Cullens encounter a strange man and discover Time Lord blood bites back.**

**Timeline: Seven years after **_**Breaking Dawn**_**; towards the beginning of the second season of New Who.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Twilight Saga, Doctor Who, or any of their characters.**

**A/N: Happy 2011! As a present, enjoy the rest of this fic!**

**Chapter Five: Aftermath**

Had a Cullen been there and conscious, they could have stopped him, but Jacob was not that fast. Before Jacob even knew what had happened, the Doctor was up and headed towards his TARDIS. Jacob made to run after him and stop him, but found a door slammed in his face. Then, next thing he knew, a loud grinding sound filled his ears and the box simply faded out of existence.

The Doctor watched Jacob from his screen in the TARDIS console room. He didn't want to run, he really didn't, but the danger was too great. Vampire venom was lethal to him and he'd been lucky already and had no desire to push his luck any further. Rose would kill him if he came back regenerated.

It didn't help any knowing what his blood would do to the other vampires. Renesmee was lucky to be a venom-less hybrid, but the others . . . he couldn't even think of it. He hated causing death but it seemed to follow him everywhere he went. At least Rose hadn't been there to see it.

"Rose! How could I forget!"

He slapped his forehead and danced around the console flipping switches and turning knobs. He had to hurry back to Pluto. Last time he left for a side adventure, Rose had not been happy, even though she'd been a statue the whole time and hadn't even noticed.

As he hit the last button, he looked down at the blue suit he'd been experimenting with and noticed it was completely ruined. It was a tattering of cloth caked in blood underserving of the title—or even suggestion—of clothing.

"I can't go back looking like this. I'd best change." After attempting to run his fingers through his hair, he amended, "and take a shower."

With that, the Doctor left the console room and headed deep into the TARDIS, the incident already far from his mind.

Back in Alaska, the only thing for Jacob to do was to try and wake up Renesmee. He'd figured Edward was a lost cause—and even if he wasn't, Jacob's lack of information about vampire health would do little good. At least Jacob could help Renesmee's human side until the others arrived. Until then, it was all he could do.

Jacob need not wait long. Before Jacob could work himself up into a true panic, the others arrived. They were shocked into place upon arrival, all but Bella.

Bella, seeing her Edward's stone cold face lying unresponsive, knew she had to do something. She ran to her husband and knelt down beside him. She attempted to wake him in the best way she knew how—with a kiss. Only, it didn't work. In fact, it had the opposite effect.

In her haste, Bella hadn't concerned herself with the blood coating Edward's face. In her frustration, she found herself drinking some of the caked on blood. Not much, but it was enough to interact with her venom. Next thing anyone knew, Bella exploded into a huge burst of golden energy.

This burst was what—figuratively—woke Carlisle up and alerted him to the danger of the situation. He'd seen similar occur before, and had hoped to never see such a reaction again.

"Stay away!" Everyone turned toward him, trusting him. "Be wary of the blood. It's not safe for our kind. Jacob, we need to get Renesmee away from here."

With new found determination, Jacob lifted Renesmee up and ran with the Cullens as far away from the blood as she could. He may have just seen his best friend die, but there was still his true love to save.

And he did. Away from the blood, Renesmee got better. The other vampires felt ill as well, but everyone recovered. Eventually, Renesmee told her tale, and everyone mourned Edward and Bella in their own ways. Renesmee was even more determined to marry Jacob—then run away with him—but the others more or less stayed together, all the more careful, for no one else wanted to face the toxic taste of Time Lord.

**The End**

**So, what'd you all think? Remember, it's meant to be a parody. Thank you everyone for reading!**


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